THE COLOR OF BEING
Do you ever dream? They say that dreams are usually black and white. I was astounded the first time I read this, because my dreams have always had color, and I remember dreams even from my childhood years. But I don’t remember to have ever dreamt in black and white. Things like that make me wonder sometimes if I don’t live in a different parallel. That would also explain why I am so often invisible to people.
Something happened to me years ago, which made me notice my own invisibility and could have badly offended me, if it wasn’t so funny. I was in a café with a friend, when a common acquaintance walked in and coming straight to our table, she started talking to my companion. After a while, she suddenly seemed to take notice of me and said, “Elena! Were you here all the time? I didn’t see you!” I laughed and said, “I am transparent,” and at times I have wondered if it isn’t true.
I started to wonder what was it that made me invisible to people sometimes. I think the best answer I could give is the comment someone made while I was visiting at their home. He said, “She has a very discreet presence.” Which means, I don’t make noise –and I don’t find the reason to do so.
On the other hand, I have very much been noticed as a female, especially in my younger years, which was very much annoying because I knew that these very people, did not see the person in me. And you can imagine that in the rare occasions when someone noticed the person I was, the real me, I felt extremely happy and valuable. There is nothing more precious than having in our life someone, who can capture the true essence of our being and treasure it. We all deserve that. Actually, everything that is alive deserves that, whether it’s a human being, an animal or a plant.
People, who see us and value us, are like my colored dreams; they make us alive and colorful because in their presence we do exist –the true ‘us’ and not just the vessel that holds it, or their prejudiced image of us.